by Victoria Howell
The loss of a loved one is perhaps the most devastating event that anyone will ever experience.
The journey through grief is always difficult, both individually and collectively. There is no one way to do it, but there is the possibility of some help.
Tamarack Grief Resource Center (TGRC) opened in Missoula in 2008 and is one of only a few organizations in Montana that provide grief support. The TGRC stated mission is to strengthen and honor individuals, families, and communities throughout their journey with grief. The programs are designed to “help mitigate possible negative outcomes of unsupported grief – decreasing feelings of isolation and despair, and shoring individuals up with tools to hold and express intense emotions and sentiments.”
The non-profit has locations in Missoula, Kalispell, Browning, and now Stevensville.
The new office is located just west of Stevensville, beautifully situated on a horse ranch owned by Carolyn Maier, director of the Morris and Helen Silver Foundation.
“Nature is a naturally healing force,” says Dr. Tina Barrett, Tamarack’s co-founder and executive director. She’s excited about the new location, which is the result of a partnership with the Morris and Helen Silver Foundation.
“Their support provides us the opportunity to realize our commitment to expand and increase grief support in the Bitterroot Valley,” said Barrett.
Aubrey Howell, BSW, and a Youth and Family Specialist, will be based out of the Stevensville office and will lead programs in the Bitterroot Valley. A Stevensville native, Howell has worked with TCRC for the last 10 years, providing compassionate grief and trauma support for youth and adults including support groups, bereavement camps, and individualized one on one support.
“While we do have clinicians on our team,” said Barrett, “we believe you don’t have to be a counselor to effectively support a neighbor, friend or partner who is grieving. And yet, a lot of people don’t feel they have the skills [to do that]. So a lot of what we do is offer programs to help people with that. And we offer programs so people don’t feel so isolated in their grief and loss.”
Dr. Barrett has focused on stabilizing, strength-oriented support for trauma survivors and family systems since 1994. Specializing in nature-based grief support, she has facilitated over 100 bereavement groups and grief camps since 1996 in Montana and six other states, and offered facilitator training and supervision for over 20 years. She serves on the Board of Directors for the National Alliance for Children’s Grief (NACG) and as a Senior Consultant for the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) as well as on the Leadership Team of Project Tomorrow Montana. She provides interactive training throughout Montana and at national conferences. In 2019, Barrett received the Community Educator Award from the Association of Death Educators and Counselors (ADEC).
Barrett said Tamarack GRC grew from a dream in 2008 to the current thriving organization with 14 staff members. One of Tamarack GRC’s signature events, founded by Barrett, is “A Camp to Remember.” Launched in 1997, these grief camps were part of a former program called Seasons before transitioning to Tamarack GRC.
“I was honored to be part of that team in 1997,” said Barrett. “I believe grief camps are the single most important way we can help grieving kiddos. And now we have added the mini-camps, a one-time three-hour offering. We load up the van with all the camp fun, fostering all the goodness of our original camps in a three-hour time span. Howell coordinates those [mini-camps] and does a marvelous job.”
“Additionally, our hope and goal is to shore up and strengthen efforts that are already happening in the valley – with schools and care professionals,” said Barrett. “We offer grief support groups in the school setting and activities during and after school that involve practicing coping skills.”
Suicide risk awareness and prevention, as well as support for suicide survivors, is another area where Tamarack GRC provides help. Along with the TGRC team, Howell provides suicide awareness training in the schools. She has a specialized interest in compassionate peer support for those grieving a death by suicide – when she was 11 she lost her brother to suicide – and focuses on postvention activities as a critical part of suicide prevention efforts in her work at TGRC.
“Our [suicide] rates in Montana have been among the worst in the nation for over 50 years,” said Barrett. “Survivors of suicide are at high risk. And that ties into our mission – the more effectively we can support survivors, we create the space to support one another.”
Barrett noted that there are grants available to help fund these workshops.
The new location in Stevensville will also offer one-on-one grief support for adults.
If someone is seeking support in the valley or virtually, call the main line at 406-541-8472, and staff members can talk you through the different offerings, both individual and group.
You can also go online to www.tamarackgrc.org and click on the “contact us” tab at the bottom and fill out a request for services form. Anybody interested in support for themselves or for someone else, or for your school, business or organization, can also just call the office.
“We want to honor people’s unique experiences as they move through the world,” said Barrett.
“I think being alone or isolated in your grief can make an already tough experience much harder,” said Howell. “I’m honored to get to be of support to those experiencing grief across the lifespan. We can’t take the pain of grief away from one another, but we don’t have to do it alone.”
The following poem by Mary Oliver is one of Howell’s favorite poems about grief.
Wild Geese
A poem by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Editor’s Note: Aubrey Howell is the author’s daughter.
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