by Archie L. Thomas & Merry Schrumpf, Corvallis
The county commissioners need a break from the election deniers. It has been discovered by a team of national road show engineers that Ravalli County has the best county roads in the state of Montana, maybe the nation. Engineers verified the road department supervisor is second to none and a leading Montana professional. Upon careful examination they exclaimed they have never reviewed a more perfect county road system except for four potholes big enough to bury a voter. They have not been able to reveal the potholes’ exact depths or locations, however.
These enlightened engineers further revealed the solution to this road system’s perfection sits right in front of the county shop on Fairgrounds Road in the form of a 100-year-old “hand crank” grader. Their recommendation is that county ”grading” return to using this “hand crank” grader. These experts have an army of volunteers to oversee the county’s very skilled operators. These volunteers specialize in the Missouri method of road grading. It’s been proclaimed by their kneeling road god that car insurance costs will go down and local windshield repair shops will flourish.
A video detailing these techniques will not be available to the commissioners as such video technology is not to be trusted, but a script handwritten manual will be available soon, entitled “Let my gravel fly.”
May it all be downhill from here.
Wayne M Adair says
Now THAT is an effective letter! Well done. Can’t wait for the volunteer graders to get to my road. They will screw it up so badly, the true pros will have to completely redo it!