by Audree Tribbensee, Stevensville
In 2018, as a new employee for the Town of Stevensville, I immediately found myself unknowingly in the middle of a very nasty political struggle to gain control and power at the local level. Those citizens seeking to oust the newly elected Mayor and current administration aggressively used an arsenal of bullying tactics, threats, lies, and intimidation to fulfill their cause. Having a long career working for cities, I was not new to local politics and I tried to understand all sides and find common ground. All parties claimed that their actions were in the name of good and for the betterment of Stevensville. Ironically, that was the common ground. It all boiled down to wanting what they felt was the best for this community they all loved. However, egos, differing opinions, and the long standing “Hatfields and McCoys” syndrome stood in the way from achieving their common goals.
During a conversation with an elected Council member, after a rather tense and hostile meeting, I asked him why he and other members of the Council hated their newly elected Mayor, and me, a newly appointed staff person. This question took the Council member by surprise, but his answer was very honest. He told me not to take the attacks personally, that the hostility and abuse had been going on for years; that this wasn’t something new to the current administration. The attacks and hate went back 5 or 6 administrations, at least 10 years, he said. And, while I believed what he said to be true, I was stunned that when questioned further he had no explanation as to why this was and had been happening for so long. I asked him if the hate and bullying had ever helped the community, to which he sadly lowered his head and said, no.
In light of this sincere conversation, I hoped he would use his position on the Town Council as a leader to demonstrate how we could end the destructive cycle and move forward with a more accepting and cooperative focus. However, the attacks did not stop. He and his friends and family, along with the other Council members ramped up their bullying battle cry.
Over the next few years, I watched in disbelief as living rooms across town served as base camps, where wicked strategies were developed, and their targets were dehumanized. Twisted truths and outright lies were slung carelessly like children with their first set of bows and arrows. Keyboards clattered behind the scenes as conspiracies were created using theories rather than facts, and then deployed online as tactical weapons. Malicious and abhorrent words were thrown across rooms, yards, and our town like hand grenades. Clamor and control had been reduced to Facebook posts and counter posts, casting stones with each keystroke, shedding no light, only darkness, distrust and confusion. Council chambers were filled with impulsive citizens pumped with falsehoods deliberately meant to deceive. Unsuspecting citizens and staff were caught in the crossfire, all the while the unblushing bullies beat on their chests and attempted to justify their words and actions by claiming it’s their duty to assert themselves as the law. Irrationally professing their maturity and age as far superior to that of the newly elected “kid.” That Mayor Dewey deserved the attacks based on their self-initiated warfare; justifying their hate-filled speech, name calling, fabricated conspiracy theories and belittling public remarks as character building, trying to help, toughening up our youth for the real world and standing up for what is right, with no regard to the effects of their words and actions, other than to conquer and destroy.
But honestly, words can and do hurt when used recklessly and with malice. They cause pain and distress; coming between families, destroying relationships, reputations, communities, businesses and lives. They have real consequences, none of which are good or result in a healthy, prosperous community.
I have tried to understand and reason with why this small handful of citizen bullies have engaged in years, even decade long battles so that “their guy” occupies Town Hall. To understand why they do what they do, say what they say, and what they get out of it. In the end, I come up with nothing. There is no simple answer. I do not understand what makes a bully tick. I do not understand why they continue to carry the battle flag intent on destroying their neighbors. Do they engage in this behavior to make themselves feel good? Do they need to feel in power and control? Are they trying to promote themselves and their position in the community? I simply don’t understand.
However, what I do understand is this, it needs to stop, and it needs to stop now. I implore those of you in this beautiful community of Stevensville who have been part of the hate, the damaging activities, and bullying, regardless of what side you are on, to please stop! Our community as a whole is paying the price. From the comfort of your home, behind your screen, before you post more hurtful, destructive comments, please stop and think about the consequences of your actions and your words. Your comments could just be the very thing that breaks the camel’s back and destroys another’s life. Please, stop the bullying, for everyone’s sake and for the sake of our neighbors and our beloved Stevensville community.