By Laurie Ruffner, Hamilton
I’d like to start out by praising Mary Fahnestock-Thomas for her letter to you in last week’s Letters. I think she made some excellent points that we could all learn from and think about.
Frankly, some of the letters I’ve read recently in your opinion section have been quite disturbing, offensive and puzzling as it relates to the beliefs of some (specifically Mr. Fowler and Ms. Gibney) and I’m quite puzzled. I cringe when I see their letters; it’s like a really bad car wreck; you don’t want to, but you still can’t help yourself from looking at it. I feel Mr. Fowler and Ms. Gibney must be very lonely and scared and they certainly cannot be happy in their lives being “armchair hate/fear mongers.”
I grew up in a very small town of all white citizens. My mother, who was widowed in her 20’s, struggled every day to raise four children, ages 2-7, by herself. We were forced to be on welfare to survive and she supplemented our income by cleaning other people’s homes, mending fences (we lived in the country), mucking out horse stalls, and other odd jobs that I’m sure many people now would not do. We grew our own garden and supplemented our food through raising food animals so as not to have to live off of welfare as much as possible. As kids, we picked strawberries, raspberries and vegetables to earn enough money to buy our necessary school items and clothes every summer. (Now migrant workers do those jobs). I went to an all-white school up until grade 9 when, due to circumstances beyond my control, I had to move to the inner city with my grandparents.
I was among the minority of white children in this school. I was welcomed by children, teachers and parents of all ethnicities and backgrounds because my mind, heart and curiosity was open. My mother raised us to believe that none of us is any better than anyone else and that if you work hard, care, are honest and kind, the world and its gifts will open up to you. She instilled in us to always believe in ourselves, give everyone a fair shake (if they harmed/hurt you, then no second chances; but it was based on the person, not their race) and live by the Golden Rule. I made many lasting friendships at that school, college and subsequently, in my world travels and businesses. I went on to be very successful, am able to give back to my community and understand clearly that people inherently want to do well.
Think about it: How many people wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say to themselves: “How can I go screw up my life and others’ today and be a bad person?” That’s not what we as human beings aspire to be. We want to do good. Think hard about that one. My life has been nothing but enrichened and blessed by people of all ethnicities, cultures, different religious views, and education.
My husband and I chose to live here in Hamilton, Montana because of the beauty and what we observed when life became difficult. People here care deeply and when the crap hits the fan (fires, loss of life/loved ones, etc.), everyone comes out to help and wrap their arms around people. It doesn’t matter if you agree on politics, religion, ethnicity, or race. People here care and are there for each other.
Think about the diverse and ethnic gift of people we have right here in our own beautiful valley. We have Rocky Mountain Labs and Glaxo Smith-Kline. Both of these organizations are working to help cure diseases, study cures for dementia and Alzheimers and so many other diseases. And, guess what, folks? They are our neighbors, friends and come from countries, ethnicities, cultures, and different religious backgrounds from all around the globe. Many are scientists, PhDs, students and people who just want to make our world a better and safer place. I’ve seen no rapists, murderers, opportunists, thieves or those that want to do harm. Just the desire to do good.
So, let’s take a deep hard look at our hearts and souls. Perhaps there is room there for embracing all people based on the quality of their character; not the color of their skin, their religion, where they come from or that they aren’t just like you. I won’t use the word “tolerance” as it implies that something is “wrong” and we are expected to “put up with/tolerate it” or “them.” There is no “them” or “us.” That is pure prejudice and if you think that, shame on you. Explain to me what makes you superior to others. I truly would love to know. You have the opportunity to learn, grow and make a difference every day in someone’s life. What’s stopping you from just simple kindness? You can only benefit by expanding your learning.
Also, I would remind each and every one of you: WE ARE ALL IMMIGRANTS! Unless you are a Native American/the “Original People,” get over that ignorant and arrogant mindset.
Think about what we could all accomplish, learn, and the friends you could make if you just opened your minds, hearts and showed that inherent kindness that the people of this wonderful state of Montana are known for. I challenge you. Who knows, you might make some new and interesting friends.